Thoughts

So my blog followers, I start work next week.  I am devastate and a mess.  I love the life I have created with my daughter at home and the new friendships that have formed.  I don't want to give up my time with my daughter for a job that is not fulfilling.  For those of you that work, how do you do it?  I know it would help if I loved and missed my job but I can honestly say I don't and I haven't.  I wish everything could stay the was it was.  I cherish the months that I have been with her and I know I am lucky to have spent as much time with her as I have.  I had a child to be with my child!  When I was younger I also knew I would be a stay at home mom, my main reason for getting a degree in Early Childhood was to be an educated stay at home mom.  I wanted to know what I was doing, that was my plan that was my goal.  I have to give it up for so many reasons that would create their own blog! Where my life is now is not where I thought it would be.  Aspects of it I am happier than I could have ever imagined and other aspects have me more sad and hurt than I ever thought possible.  How can that be?  I am living the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows and I hate it.  I want the highs all the time.  Is that to much to ask?